Tag: New Year’s Resolution

Stop Setting Goals, Pick Directions Instead

Now that you know about keeping those goals to yourself so you’ll actually work towards achieving them, I need to drop another bomb on you: stop setting “goals” for yourself completely.

Ask yourself: what is a goal?  What comes to your mind when you think of one?  A finish line, right?  A specific point of time in the course of your life that you can point to when you will have successfully achieved your desired outcome or acquired your desired thing.

This kind of thinking is a problem.  The reason is that it focuses your attention on getting one thing done in particular rather than changing your behavior over time.  This is why New Year’s resolutions don’t work.  Most people pick something they want to have or something specific they want to have done.  Then, since they chose a goal instead of a direction, they have all year to get that one thing done, right?  Except it never gets done because we aren’t training ourselves for change, we’re choosing to put all of our happiness on the event of one specific thing happening.

This isn’t really our fault, it’s the way our education system trained us.  They want workers trained for the creation of a desired product.  Any deviation from the norm is strictly discouraged.

thedirection

As a result of this thinking, we don’t have realistic or healthy aspirations.  We think about our body and decide that if we lost thirty pounds, we would be happy, because television told us so.  The reality is that being plus or less thirty pounds has lot less to do with your overall health than just being more active and eating better.  Not running a marathon a week or being a vegan!  Just being more active and eating better than you are currently.

Training yourself to think this way or rather untraining yourself not to think incorrectly is difficult, but it’s a muscle that grows stronger with practice. 

Make a list of what things you would like to accomplish, those pesky goals, and translate them into behavioral changes.

1.  Lose 30 pounds = get your heart rate up for 15 minutes a day. 

2.  Write a novel = wake up earlier and write for 15 minutes before work each day.   

3.  Become a billionaire = sell your idea to one person tomorrow, then one person the next day. 

Now make your list.

A new year of resolutions and just the man to foul them up

It’s almost the new year and depending on which side of the historical-era-pickiness fence you’re on, it’s the beginning a new decade; meaning a fresh slate of days and months with which to squander an ever-diminishing list of good intentions.

I make The List every year, at least in my head.  I’m sure we all do.  You go for the big things first probably, as I do…be happier, experience more, read more, quit this, start that, don’t eat this, run this much.  And every year, they end up as so much forgotten trash on the side of the road, if you’ve even bothered to write them down.  Ask yourselves this, what were your resolutions last year? If you can’t remember them, and I can’t remember mine, then either take them more seriously or just give up on the whole philosophy of it, that’s what I say.

I am taking a lounge-chair approach this year: I’m not making a list, mental or otherwise.  I, like you, know what I want to change, must we blather on about it?  That’s just a constant signpost that tells you you’re not complete, you’re not who you should be or who you want to be.  That wears on the soul and psyche in my opinion and it just plain ain’t healthy.

Change isn’t a destination and it’s barely a rest stop.  It’s more like you’re a marathon runner and Change is that dixie cup of water someone hands you that you splash on your sweating forehead.  It reinvigorates you and keeps you going for the next mile.

I know I need to write more, I know I need to read more, and I do, little by little, I’m moving in the right direction, taking care of the things that need doing and finding more time for the things I love.

One of the ways I’ve been doing this is getting rid of the old and unhelpful.  Old hobbies that will never be picked up again have been sold off on ebay or given away and unproductive distractions like cable television and videogame consoles have been politely shown the door.  The less distractions I have, the more focused I am, the more focused I am, the more I’m getting done and the better I feel about where I am in this race.

So really the only resolution I have this year is not to make any at all.  To make a resolution is to say to yourself that you don’t have to start until tomorrow and you have all the time in the world to “get serious.”  Wrong and Wrong.

One of the things I want to do is write more…see…already doing it…that wasn’t so hard…was it?

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